Another Day, Another Bloody Rant

Getting back to the subject of being a music snob. We were at a barbecue at some friends house last Saturday evening so the full horror of the autumn TV schedule failed to register with me until Sunday evening.

 I was sitting at the laptop in the cupboard come office when I heard the strains of a cat being castrated without anaesthetic coming from the next room. I popped my head round the door to find out what the fuck could be making that kind of racket to see L and M captivated in what I quickly realised was the return of the TV programme I despise above all others with the possible exception of perhaps Pets Do The Funniest Things.

Fucking marvelous, I thought to myself as I shrunk back into my bunker, four months of poor misguided fools, all with a sad story to tell murdering old soul classics and “reinterpreting” million plus selling pop songs. All while the Great Satan looks on from behind his desk with that smug look which can be translated “I can’t believe I’m getting away with this yet again, ker ching” and his minor demons bickering amongst themselves and occasionally weeping at one of the sad stories.

And this is where my troubles begin. I know that millions of people get pleasure out of watching what in my opinion is absolute garbage. But, who am I to tell others that what gives them pleasure is vacuous nonsense.

I have heard people talking bollocks about how good such and such was at covering Hallelujah for the umpteenth time and had to stop myself from sneering and feeling superior. After all I  know that the only worthy cover of that song is by Kathryn Williams.

So I try to vent my disdain at the judges and the poor unfortunates that actually perform for the entertainment of the masses.

I have and I hate to say it, nothing but contempt for the contestants on this programme because in my opinion and based on the facts presented, the majority are there simply to be famous not for a love of music or the joy of singing. I may be wrong but I don’t think so. I am sick of hearing “PLEASE, Simon, this means the world to me”, really more than your kids, your family, stop deluding yourself and realise you are a plumber or call centre employee and not a fucking pop star who hasn’t been spotted yet.

Which brings me on to the thing that disgusts me the most about the X Factor, the way that the producers prey on the delusions of people who are not of sound mind and then show them being laughed at by the audience and put down by judges. How do these people who don’t have that firm a grip on reality feel when it dawns on them that they have been held up to the ridicule of the millions that watch this programme.

But again, it comes back to the fact that the programme would not be made if the contestants weren’t there clamouring for their 15 seconds of fame and it certainly wouldn’t be aired if nobody watched it.

So once this rant is finished I will desist from commenting on the programme further and will allow others, however misguided they may be to enjoy this guff without any comment from me

Ballboy – Avant Garde Music

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18 Responses to Another Day, Another Bloody Rant

  1. John Medd says:

    My head was nodding more times than Churchill reading your piece. Yes, it's shit and, yes, it's disposable. But, as we all know, deep down, so is quite a lot of this broken isle. You, like so many others (you're not alone), vote with your feet. And you get to have a good old rant about it on your very own forum. It's cheaper than anything your Doctor would prescribe.

  2. Artog says:

    Left to her own devices my wife, an intelligent women, would watch back to back Wife Swap, America's Next Top Model, The X Factor, and Big Brother. My main problem with all the above is, like you say, the strong streak of nastiness that runs through them. Every so often I have to let out a howl and insist that we watch a nice programme about brochs or something.

    I think the idea that the media are just giving the people what they want is bollocks. People (obviously) will watch anything. So why not make the effort and give them something edifying rather than all this brain-slop? The BBC at the very least should cancel fucking Eastenders (screeching,fictitious cockneys, who needs that?)and replace it with a programme on which politicians are taken to task not by a panel of hacks and comedians but by heavy duty experts. Every Night.

  3. Mad Men Girl says:

    Hey kitchen goddess! Just stopped by for a cuppa, and to give you something else to rant about…

    I've entered a contest to win a role on the retro-fabulous TV show “Mad Men” – but I need your votes to win!

    If you don't mind taking two seconds to vote for me, please go to my blog or use the link below, which takes you right to my photo page.

    Thanks so much!

  4. swiss adam says:

    I agree with you about the whole talentless x factor, it's my dream, pointless karaoke, cynical exploitation etc etc. On top of that, that Mad Men comment turned up at BA a few days ago. If it wasn't the best show on tv I'd be pissed off about being spammed

  5. Anonymous says:

    I dont watch programs I dont personally enjoy, but I wouldnt dish out such a load of self congratulatory verbosity about stuff that others obviously enjoy. what a snob you and your virtual chums are. bravo you.

  6. Artog says:

    Anon – You must be aware of the bullying of contestants on the shows we're talking about, either on the show itself, or in the media? And you're just okay with that?

  7. drew says:

    Anonymous –

    I don't choose to watch it either but my wife does.

    I think you missed the point of the whole post.

    Verbosity – don't think so, I could gone on at great length that was the edited version.

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  9. car crash telly:
    some can't help but watch:
    personally I'm chomping for the This is England '86 on Ch4 next week!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Maybe I did miss the point and I dont know about the bullying, point is I dont watch it. But I was thinking of the scenario; single and/or hardup parents have spent the week doing worthy and educational stuff with their kids and looking for a little family entertainment on a saturday night. Is this form of entertainment really so sinister? It seemed to me, reading the post and comments that those of us who are privileged to enjoy what we may call proper culture, look down and sneer on those who like to watch this stuff. And maybe some people would never have heard Halleluja if it were not for the strangled cats version?

  11. drew says:

    Who sounds like a snob now, what is proper culture?

    And if bullying and ridiculing is family entertainment then it's not for me.

    Everybody not just the privileged deserve excellent entertainment not just the fodder that Syco TV and Endemol think that they deserve.

  12. Anonymous says:

    The reference to “proper culture” was meant to be ironic. My own taste in telly starts and stops with Come Dine with Me. There's a lot of bullying goes on there too. Now I will get my coat ….

  13. drew says:

    Annonymous – no need to get your coat, helthy discussion is always appreciated around here.

  14. drew says:

    and that should be healthy.

  15. Artog says:

    I know everyone's probably moved on but…I’m not sneering at the people who watch these programmes, I’m just annoyed by the cynicism of the television programmers. And I’m not against straight forward entertainment, I just think we need to break its stranglehold on prime time.

    My politics programme idea perhaps sounds a bit earnest (though I think Simon Cowell himself suggested something similar), but I think it’s elitist to assume that single mums wouldn’t be interested in watching (for instance) the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions having to defend himself while they eat their tea.

  16. drew says:

    Artog, I like the idea of a prime time slot for politicians to get a roasting, after all they are suppossed to be accountable.

    Unfortunately the majority wouldn't watch it, or may be I'm misjudging the viewing public.

    One thing's for sure there has got to be something better than the dross we are being fed at the moment

  17. Anonymous says:

    Artog, I probably wouldnt watch it if it were to follow the current format of Paxman type pitt bull hack tearing lumps out of the politician of the day. But to combine family entertainment with a political debate could be interesting, Polit-X factor, maybe? Any takers Endermol?

  18. JC says:

    A rant that is as good as anything Toad has ever come up with.

    Wonderfully written Drew.

    My wife is also a huge fan. We only have one telly in our house…Staurday's nights are now spent on the PC, reading a book or looking for mates to go out to the pub with. See you in Lanark soon???

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